"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss

serious bullshit

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 21:01:50 GMT

so i didnt get the qa position but of course no one at my company has the common curtesy to let anyone know who got it or anything like that.
they are so stupid at work
they are always changing shit.
now hours are going from 10-7 to 6-3 again starting may 1st.
i wonder how long that one will last.
they fired 3 of my good friends at work this week.
one for a really bullshit reason and the other two for smoking pot on their lunch break.
fucking stupid.
i would have peed in a cup for them.

anyways.
i'm bored.
i'm just sitting here now that i finished cleaning waiting for bryan and his little brother to get to my house.
i've been staying at bryan's house lately cause his parents are in washington dc.
it's nice.
we have movie nights with his sister and her love and his brother.
blah.
ok.
bye

what the shit

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 03:26:42 GMT

seriously.
what the shit.
totally describes today.

they decieded at work today that they are changing schedules from 7 to 4 to 10 to 7 starting wed.
it's that or no job.
hello!!!!!
way to screw my second job.
what the shit is that?
i hate that bullshit.
still don't know anything about the QA position
suppossedly they told some girl she got one of the two poistions today but then they told a bunch of other people after i heard that that they haven't made any descisions yet.
my spelling is wsay shitty today.
i don't care.

so my laptop is being slow and it's pissing me off.
what the shit is that.

blah.

blah

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:42:41 GMT

so bryan is shaving his beard off right now to see what he looks like.
whatever.
haha.
i'm bored.
i got off work early today cause we were slow.
that was nice.
we were supposed to go to disneyland tonight but it's blocked out for two weeks.
we need to upgrade our passes already.

i still don't know about the position i applied for.
i was hoping to find out by the weekend but i guess not.
maybe i'll find out on monday.
kelly starts on monday.
i really wanna quit lane bryant.

oh bryan just walked in.
lets see.
AHHHHHHHHH.
it's weird seeing it.
how cute.
he's embarrassed.
ok.
bye.

Raw Power

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:06:49 GMT

Life is so weird.

So I'm engaged.
who would have thought, right?

working two jobs is really getting to me.
i feel like i never have time to breathe.
i applied for a better position at work.
i would get a dollar raise.
that would be nice.
i was supposed to find out today if i got it, but i didn't.
hopefully i find out tomorrow.
I'm gonna be pissed if i don't get it.

Bryan is making me mad tonight.
he is acting like a four year old.
what the fuck is that?
i admit I'm a little crazy, but so what.
stubborn as all hell.
i swear.

anyways.
bed time.
i miss my old life kinda.
well, more like i miss having a life.

fucking christ.

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:06:07 GMT

so my cousins going away party was last weekend.
I was trashed.
Can you tell?

anyways.
a lot of shit going on.
finished school.
got my license.
trying to find a job.

a lot more shit but i dont' wanna get into it.
i'm having a lot of ups and downs and i'm getting confused about a lot of shit in my life these days.
i miss a lot of people specially people i shouldn't be missing.
fucking stupid.
anyways.
friday is being bad so i need to go chase her.
peace.

one more thing

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:07:27 GMT

school was so bad today.
my doctor hasn't filled my perscription yet and i've been having withdrawels.
it's really shitty.
i got sick at school today.
i went to the health center and on top of that, i have a viral infection.
they told me to go home and get rest and gave me a note for work.
i feel so bad about calling out but i know i need to get rest.
i'm in bad shape.

i figured out that i'm graduating in like 6 weeks.
like the second week of april.
i can't fucking wait.
i'm so ready to be done with school.
i'm so sick of it.
sometimes i wonder if this is what i really want to do with my life.
i think that i think that because i'm scared to actually accomplish and finish something.
that and school makes me hate what i do.
when we get guest speakers in though i get all pumped and can't wait to get out there and take my test and get into the industry.
i'm confident in what i do and it's the first time i've been confident in something like this in my life.

i think i need to go lay down in bed and take a nap.
hopefully bryan gets here soon to hold me.
i miss his body warmth.

ok

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:32:37 GMT

so posting that last picture made me realize that i haven't even posted a picture of bryan on here.

so here are a few of us and of him.

random picture

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:19:38 GMT

so this was the night bryan asked me out at kevins birthday dinner.
and that is the gang.

i was shy.
ok.
bye.

sick boy

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:30:53 GMT

oh man.
so bryan's birthday was interesting.
we threw him a suprise party on friday night and i distracted him by taking him to dave and busters for drinks and games.
it was fun.
we had a great night and then on the way to his house he started to catch on and we argued because i had to lie to him, but in the end it was worth it and he forgave me.
he smiled so much.
it was amazing.
he stayed with me that night and on saturday morning i went to breakfast with him and his brother.
we went back to his house and i fell asleep in his bed because i was super super sick with a really bad cold.
we went to my house and i ate some soup and he went to fry's and then i went over to his house and slept some more and then got ready.
we went to dinner at bj's where he had about 7 beers.
insane, but hey it was his 21st.
after that we went to downtown fullerton.
first was slidebar where some drunk slut hit on him and bought him a drink.
2 beers there.
next was the continantal room where he had 1.
then it was florentines where he had 1.
then branagains where he had 1 HUGE one.
after that we went to tuscany where he had another one after saying he was done.
long story short, he threw up out my mom's car door on the drive home, right down the street from his house.
it got all over the side of my mom's car.
i freaked out and called his sister when we got to his house.
she helped me clean the car with her fiancee.
well more like they cleaned the car while i sat in the house talking to his dad and having a panic attack.
i hope he learned his lesson and he won't drink so much in vegas now.
all in all, it was a pretty good time.
i love his friends.
i just wish emily would have gone.

on another note, i can't wait for vegas.
i'm gonna have so much fun with him and his sister and her lover and kevin and megan.
bryan and i leave thursday night and then everyone else comes up on friday.

AND TO TOP IT OFF!
i have less than 200 hours left of school!
YAY!

ok.

::end transmission::

oh babyyyyyyyyy

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:30:19 GMT

so life is still pretty good.
i'm burning out with school and work.
i just want to be out of school already.
i'm so sick of it and i'm so close to being done.
sometimes i just don't want to go in the morning.
the days are dragging so bad.

things with bryan are still good.
i still haven't gone a day without seeing him.
his birthday is on saturday.
we're going to vegas the weekend after.
he did the cutest thing for me on valentines day.
he got a room and put rose petals all over the bed and floor.
it was super cute.
it was a nice thing to see after a long day at school and work.

i should go get ready to go out with my mom.
oh joy.

aye

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:27:38 GMT

my great-grandfather passed away last night.
even though he was a real scrooge, i'm kinda bummed out.
i'm going to his house today to see my step-great-grandmother.

rascal is barking.
i should let him in!

THANK GOD FOR NOT THROWING UP TODAY!
WOOT!

out with the old and in with the new

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:13:08 GMT

so 2007 is over and 2008 has begun.
i sure hope 2008 will be better than 2007.
i'm really bummed out.
i lost all my pictures on my camera.
i totally cried.

new years eve i went with bryan to jackies party.
it was a good party.
i think i drank a little too much a little too fast because around 11 i was hugging the toliet.
what a way to spend the last hour of 2007.
it's ok though cause bryan took care of me and i felt way better afterwards.
then we spent the first hour of 2008 in the bathroom while bryan hugged the toliet.
yeah we puked.
whatever.

so lets see.
lets make a +/- list for 2007.

+being really close with ana.
-losing contact with ana.
+emily moving in with me.
+my mom getting better.
+megan having a baby.
+going back to school.
+getting a job i like.
-throwing up.
+getting close with tony.
-losing tony's friendship over something stupid.
+making new friends.
-losing good friends.
-people being immature.
++++++++++++++meeting bryan!!!!!!!
+falling out of love with an asshole.
+falling IN love with someone amazing.
-totalling my old car.
+getting a new car.
+being elected treasurer.
+bowling a lot.
+rekindling my friendship with chris fletcher.
+frank coming home from iraq!
-chris going to bootcamp.
-fist fights outside of chain.
-anxeity
-panic attacks.
-depression.
-uncle bob passing.
-bill teglar passing.
+katie having a baby.

and that's all i can think of right now becuase bryan is making me nervous by reading over my shoulder.

ok bye.

wow

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:26:29 GMT

so i had a great christmas.
i spent the entire day with bryan and it was amazing.
we hopped from his house to my house and back all day.
i couldn't have asked for a better christmas.
i got everything i could ever ask for.

yesterday he took me to the mountians to see snow.
i had never seen snow before.
every year someone promises to take me and they never do.
it was amazing.
it was cold and i'm sore but it was a good time.
i have pictures that i'll upload later on and post.
i'm at his work right now eating del taco while he builds some machine.
he's so cute.
i love him.
i'm so happy again and i love it.
i deserve it.

underwear porn party on the 9th.
who's down?
my parents are gonna be out of town for like 10 days.
i can't wait!

it's not over

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 22:16:40 GMT

refering to my last friends only entry, yeah maybe i should meet guys on myspace.
i met a new one.
he is amazing.
his name is bryan.
his friends went to high school with me.
his parents love me.
my parents love him.
my friends like him.
he is offically my boyfriend as of last night.
i am totally stoked on my life.

this guy treats me the way i deserve to be treated.
i've seen him every day since i met him.
we've gone out every day.
he makes me smile and gives me butterflies and he can handle my sarcasm.
i haven't felt this way in a long time and i'm so lucky to have finally found someone so amazing.

life is fucking great right now.

oh boy!

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:28:10 GMT

so i had a halloween party on the 19th.
it was amazing.
i don't think i've ever had so much to drink in my life.
i woke up in my parents closet.
it was so much freaking fun.
and on top of that, i came to a life changing realazation that night and i'm so fucking happy and content with my life now.

i never thought the day would come where i could say that but it finally did.

what else is new....
i'm in level 3 now and over halfway done with school hourwise.
i can't freakin' wait!
umm i love living with emily.
we watch movies and hang out a lot and it's rad.
i've gotten really close with amit and amber at school and i love those two soo much.
i'm amit's fruit fly.
haha.
ummm i've been dating around a bit and i found at least 2 good potentials and i'm excited to see where it goes.
i had the best night in the past like 3 years or so last thursday night with scott.
it was amazing and i'm glad we finally hung out like that after 3 years of not seeing eachother or talking.

all in all, life is fucking great.

ouch

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 04:00:36 GMT

So I got my first brazilian wax yesterday.
Holy shit did it hurt.
Emily is officially moved in.
Finals are over.
Made new friends.
Lost a friend I thought was a true friend but I guess was wrong.
Whatever.
Their loss.
If they would rather be friends with someone that talks shit about them than me, its their fault.
Life is good.

aye

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:16:39 GMT

So I'm at school and I'm dying of cramps.
I'm super stressed out about the whole emily moving situation.
I feel like I've done so much in the room but it doesn't look good.
There isn't much left to do but I'm stressing hardcore over it.
She starts moving her stuff in today.
I'm so excited.
I can't wait for her to live with me.

I'm glad I've started talking to people from my past again.
I missed so many people and now I'm talking to them again and its exciting.
Emily and I are having a halloween party this year when my parents are in florida.
Should be good times for sure.

I'm almost done with level 2 at school.
I'm halfway done hourwise.
Level 3 starts the 21st.
So stoked.
I'm stressing about getting all my stuff done though.
I'm sure ill finish though but still.

I can't wait to get home today and sleep.
I'm so exhausted.
I feel like I'm always on the go and always doing something.
I never have me time anymore.
The only time I ever relax is when I'm going to bed and when I wake up I feel like I barely went to sleep.
I'm always either at school or work or cleaning. Sooo fucking busy.
Aye.
I feel like such a shitty friend lately.
I never see anyone or call anyone or anything.
Sorry guys.
I still love you.

the sound now turns to silence...

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 16:32:59 GMT

Well I'm on my morning break at school.
Oh joy.
Someone egged my moms car two nights ago and I know who it is.
I wanna beat the crap out of them but I'll take the high road.
Whatever.
School is going by slow today.
I hate our morning teacher.
She's an idiot.
Drives me insane.

I had crazy dreams last night.
Totally weird.
I'm obsessed with this song hannah put on my birthday mic cd.
Dancing with the stars was amazing for a season opener.
Everyone was good.
I was shocked.

Therpy tonight.
I have to remember to pick up my refill for my pills too.
I don't feel like myself anymore.
The things I have to do to get through the days makes me so angry at myself.
Its pathetic.
I guess ill go back to class now.
I just wanna go home already.

holy hangover

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:50:04 GMT

So I had 1 drink last night and for some reason it really effed me up.
Hella hangover today.
Totally sucked.

Barristar hairshow was bomb.
Learned a lot and got some sweet deals.
My mom seems to be doing way better today.
That makes me happy.

I love having permed hair.
Its so wash and go now.
Its amazing.
I need to put a picture on here.
Its sooo cute.

I hope school this week won't be so drama filled.
People in my class need to grow up.

I'm bored and wanna go out.
Anyone wanna do something?

oh yeahhhhhh

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 03:55:44 GMT

I just went to buffalo exchange with emily and the hottest guy was working.
Wow.
Emily is driving like a bat out of hell right now.
I think we are going to olive garden.
Yay.

My mom came home from the hospital today.
She is better but still not doing so well.
Barristar hair show tomorrow in burbank.
Should be fun.

I permed my hair thursday.
Its cute.
I love curly hair.

Ok.
Bye.

oh my goodness

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 04:42:47 GMT

Oh man.
I'm on my way home from the best show I've been to in over a year.

The rocket summer has offically been bumped to my 2nd favorite band EVER.
Oh and I finally got to see armor for sleep.
So stoked.

Other news:
I'm 22 as of monday.
My moms in the hospital again and not doing good.
Offsprings on the radio right now.
I was an car accident and my car is totaled.
School has too much drama.
I'm still single but loving it.
I want to start a band because I've been writing music for a while and I wanna play tamborine.
Panic attacks started again.
Emilys moving in with me.
That's all I can think of.
I miss everyone.

we've got some straightening out to do.

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 04:31:15 GMT

Vegas was an ok time.

I'm so sick of the games guys play.
Fucking over it.

School is almost done for a month.
I'm exhausted and I'm not loking forward to the free time.

And for the first time in almost 3 weeks, I miss him more than I can possibly put into words and I've been on the verge of tears for atleast an hour.
I wish I would just cry and get it over with.
So weird to get home from vegas and not have him to take a nap with like everyother time I've been.
So weird to see the place where we had the fight that started the downfall of the best time of my life.

I wish I never knew what love was.
I will never love again.

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 02:47:17 GMT

waking up next to him 2 mornings in a row was amazing.
now he's gone, but will be back monday or tuesday.
please let something go my way for once.

i don't know what i'm doing, but i sure hope it all works out.
i deserve this.

ehhhh

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 20:44:35 GMT

i'm feeling a little strange right now.

i met a new boy.
he is fucking amazing on every level possible.
i've seen him the last 3 days and spending time with him makes me smile uncontrolablly, if that's even a word.
i get this feeling when i'm with him or talking to him that i haven't gotten since i met jesus.
it's so weird and i love it.
so bummed that he leaves tomorrow to go on tour though for like a month or some shit like that.
i miss him as soon as he leaves, and now i can't see him for forever.
i told him i didn't want him to break my heart, and he said he wouldn't.
we'll see how that one ends up, right?
i mean tommy said he wouldn't hurt me and then he dumped my ass on monday and made me feel like shit about it by doing what i consider a guilt trip, but he considered to be pouring his heart out.
whatever though.

last night i think i may or may not have made a mistake.
i'm not quite sure how i feel about what i did yet, but i'm sure as the day progresses i'll either start feeling worse about it or better, hopefully better.

school is amazing.
i love the friends that i've made and i love hanging out with them outside of class.
going to school is what i look forward to every day and i can't wait for class the next day.
i've met people that i hope will end up being life long friends, for real.

my meds aren't fucking me up as bad anymore.
i have good and bad days.
i'm hoping today is a good day because i'm hungry and don't feel sick for once.
i'm gonna try to eat some fruit in a few minutes.
there's a cantaloupe sitting right next to me and it looks sooo good.
yummy.

frank got back this morning.
i'm so excited to see him.
apparently he is taking me to a wedding reception tonight, even though i was gonna bake this new boy cookies.
we'll see how that ends up.
i really can't wait to see him.
we are going to warped tour on friday.
then weekend after next, we're going to vegas.
i hope i get to see him every single day that he's home.
i'll totally cry if i don't get to.
i know i'm not gonna want him to leave again.
i wish he wasn't in the stupid navy anymore so i could see him all the time and hang out every day.
hopefully seeing him and school will keep me busy and my mind off other things and other people.

i don't know.
i feel weird.
i don't like it, but i love it at the same time.
ok.
i'm gonna eat.
fuck yeah!

ha

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 02:50:07 GMT

1 year 8 months.
still counting how long it'd be.
still not even close to over it.
still so deeply in love that i'd do anything.

FUCK I'M AMAZING!

fucking shoot me.
please?

or come back to me jesus alvarez jr.
you are still my entire world, don't ask me how, but you are.